


The last light of day

by orphan_account



Category: Traveler
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 19:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay goes his own way after the plan to clear their names fails, but discovers that it's not as easy to move on as he thought. Set post-series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The last light of day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [niania](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=niania).



  
They sit together on a rooftop somewhere in New York, looking out over the city as the sun sets and the shadows grow longer, plunging the city into darkness, into night.

Nothing has turned out the way they planned.

There's no way back now, no way out and all three of them know it, even if neither of them mentions it. Instead, they sit in silence, side by side; Tyler close to Jay, Will a few feet away from them. They're not safe here, but they don't move. They've been staying in dingy motels and on cold rooftops for the past few days, because none of them can quite bring themselves to leave New York - even Will seems aimless, like he hardly cares anymore.

Like he has nothing left to lose.

Jay thinks that the same rings true for Tyler, and it explains the looks that the two of them exchange every now and then. He knows - they all know - that they're still in New York because of him, because he doesn't want to leave Kim behind. Because he still has something to lose, something to fight for. Because Jay still believes in moving on from this, still believes in the calm and uneventful life he had planned on living with Kim.

It's Will who speaks first; his voice sounds rusty, as if he hasn't spoken for days. "We can't stay here forever. We'll get caught. We have to keep moving."

Jay doesn't reply; he knows he doesn't need to. He can feel more than he can see Tyler's nod. It's easier the less they talk - easier to be together, easier to work together, easier to decide to stay together. At least for now. Jay shivers in the sudden chill of the night air, and wishes that things hadn't turned out like this. Wishes that he didn't have to make these choices.

"I'm not going," he says eventually, and from the silence of the two others, he wonders if they even heard him.

Will gets to his feet and walks over, looking down at him; just wait until Jay looks up to meet his eyes, even if it's next to impossible to make out more than Will's features in the dim light. "You have to do what you think is right, Jay. But I think it's the wrong move. It won't help you, us, or Kim if you stick around here long enough to get caught."

"Running won't help either of us either," Jay says stubbornly. He feels like he has heard this speech far too many times in the past couple of weeks. Christ, it feels like years instead of weeks, and Jay is tired. A part of him wants to give up, take his punishment, and hope that Kim is willing to wait for him.

But he has learned enough to know that giving up isn't an option.

So far, Tyler hasn't said anything, but now he gets to his feet as well and drags Jay up with him. "You do what you have to," he says, and Jay is surprised to see him smiling. He's even more surprised when Tyler hands him a cell phone. "Take this, for when you want to get in touch with us. I got three of them, one for each of us. They're untraceable, secure lines."

Jay blinks at him, and one look at Will reveals that he's just as surprised. "How did you get these?" Will asks, accepting the phone Tyler gives him with a suspicious look on his face.

Tyler just grins. "Sometimes, it comes in handy to be a rich kid."

They don't say goodbye, because they never know if it'll be the last time. Instead Jay merely nods to the both of them and heads left where Tyler and Will head right. It's as simple as that, as non-dramatic. They can't afford to make too much of a scene anywhere, after all.

Jay knows that they're still being hunted, that there are still police and FBI agents and god knows who else looking for them, trying to capture them, but he has faith in the fact that they'll be able to outwit them. He has faith that none of them will be arrested; if there's anything they've learned since the Drexler bombing, it's how to survive.

And Jay's not stupid. He doesn't go to Kim right away. He lays low; has learned how. He keeps staying at run-down motels, continues to hang out in circles where nobody would want to get the police involved, tries to make a new kind of life for himself.

Even if he doesn't think that it's much of a life.

He sends little postcards to Kim, takes train-rides to post them from places outside New York. At first, he doesn't write more than a couple of words, giving Kim - and whoever might be looking into her mail - little to go on. He can't be too careful. But the weeks go by and nothing happens, and he dares to go further, write more. Even signs a couple of cards with Love, J without anything happening.

Still, it takes him nearly three months before he suggests a meeting place, and even if he goes there, he stays hidden until he's sure that Kim's alone.

She greets him with a kiss and a smile, and bursts into tears moments later.

Jay feels like doing the exact same thing.

"I love you," he says, and hopes the simple words convey everything he wishes that he could say; the apologies for what she's been through, the appreciation of the fact that she's still here for him, the joy over seeing her again, the immense amount of trust he has in her, the admiration for how strong she is. She's his girl, and for good reason. Jay wonders how he got this lucky, in the middle of everything that went wrong.

"We'll be together now," Kim says, and the conviction in her voice makes Jay believe it as well. He thinks he loves her even more when, a few minutes later, she looks around and asks him; "Where's Tyler and Will?"

It's not an easy life. Jay can't move into Kim's apartment and assume that nothing's going to happen ever again. He can't fool himself into believing that he's safe now, that there's nothing to worry about. He can't let Kim fight his battles for him.

"As long as you're safe, as long as I still get to see you," Kim says and kisses him goodbye. He sneaks into her apartment building via the basement garage, wears different clothes every time, even wears glasses or a wig a few times - just in order to make it seem like there's different guys coming and going. It's impossible for them to know if they're being watched or not. Everything seems quiet, still, uneventful, but Jay doesn't trust it. He can't manage to, after spending so many days on the run, hardly ever sleeping, almost constantly being in danger.

"Don't you think you can relax now?" Kim asks softly, and peppers his jaw and cheek with little kisses. "I think they've given up. Or maybe they're concentrating on finding Will and Tyler."

"Yeah," Jay says, though he doesn't want to believe it. He doesn't like the idea of his friends struggling to make it, not when he's here; clothed and fed and loved and relatively happy. He doesn't tell Kim about it, but he's constantly worried for Will and Tyler, he thinks about them, wonders where they are, wonders if they're still together, wonders if they have a roof over their heads tonight, wonders if they've found some kind of way to clear their names.

He wonders if he made a mistake, if he should've gone with them after all.

It's not until he tells Kim about the phone Tyler gave him and she hits his shoulder and tells him that he's an idiot for not calling them that he finally dares to make the call.

Hearing Tyler's voice again makes all the difference.

"Yeah, we're good," he says, a hint of a smile in his voice. He sounds the same. Maybe a little older, a little more experienced, a little more tired, but he's still Tyler, and he cracks a joke about how he wishes he had someone as hot as Kim to snuggle up with at night, instead of Will's scrawny ass.

"Fuck you," Will says from the background, and Jay laughs louder than he had intended to.

"You haven't been running into trouble?" Jay asks, even if he's not sure he wants to hear the answer.

Tyler snorts. "If you don't count stealing cars and groceries and sleeping in some of the most fucked up places imaginable and nearly getting caught in Los Angeles a couple of times... Nah, no trouble whatsoever."

"It was your fault we almost got caught," Will comments, and this time it's Tyler who says 'fuck you'. They sound pretty much exactly like they used to, back when they were still roommates and studying and believing that life was fair and their futures were bright, and Jay realizes that he misses them. That a part of him wishes that he was there instead of here.

He confesses it to Tyler, keeping his voice low and hushed, and Tyler laughs at him and calls him a fucking idiot.

"But we miss you too," he adds, and hangs up without saying goodbye.

Kim lets him more or less move in, but Jay can tell that this - all of it - wears on her as well, no matter how much she tells him that it's no trouble, that she wants him to stay with her, that she's glad to have him with her all the time.

Jay doesn't sleep well. He's not used to staying still anymore; he feels like he's living in a delicate glass bubble and he can't stand the thought of it. It leaves him restless and irritable, leaves him jumpy and unable to concentrate on anything, unable to do anything.

"I can't stay like this forever, Kim," he whispers against Kim's hair when he thinks she has fallen asleep.

"I know," she replies, almost inaudibly, and it's not difficult to hear the sadness in her voice.

Jay can't stand it anymore. He knows that he should stay, if only for Kim's sake, but he doesn't think that staying will do either of them any good. It's funny, really. He thought that everything he wanted was to be with her, have Kim's company and her smiles and her calmness with him all the time, but now that he's been living it for months, it does nothing apart from making his mood even worse.

"You're like a trapped animal," Kim says when he comes in, sneaking up stairs and through hallways after spending a day wandering the crowded New York streets. "I don't want to keep you trapped, Jay. You're not happy here. You shouldn't be here anymore."

He swallows and meets her eyes - only belatedly does he notice the backpack propped up against the living room wall. "Are you kicking me out?" he asks, trying to joke even if his smile stiffens into a grimace.

Kim shakes her head and kisses him gently before pushing him away slightly. "No," she says. "I'm setting you free."

Jay doesn't know what to say. He almost can't believe how she can understand him this well, how she can manage to see his thoughts and feelings and decide what the best course of action is without struggling with it at all. He can't believe that she's willing to let him go, that she can see that he doesn't belong in this kind of life anymore and that she's not angry with him for not being everything she had wanted him to be. Swallowing, he thanks her in a shaky voice and hugs her tight, before shouldering the backpack; it's no doubt filled with clothes, food and other things Kim thinks he might have a use for, and he thinks that this - this woman - is unbelievable.

"Say hey to Tyler and Will for me," Kim says with a smile as she kisses him goodbye. "And come home to me as soon as you can."

Finding his friends takes more time than Jay had imagined; he's been away from this kind of life for too long, and it takes him a few weeks to remember how to do this. It takes him a few weeks to really decide that this is what he wants. It takes him a few weeks to feel lonely enough to call Tyler and ask where they are, ask to meet up. Tyler laughs at him, but tells him that they're near Miami, and gives him a couple of days to get down there.

"Couldn't stay away from us any longer, huh?" he says, and can barely stifle a laughter.

Jay grins as well. "Fuck you," he counters, and delights over feeling the pieces of their friendship coming together again. He thinks that maybe he was stupid for not going with them in the first place, but on the other hand, he thinks that he needed this, that Kim needed it, that Tyler and Will needed it.

And he's honestly glad that he wasn't around for whatever vicious fights the two of them had together in the months they're been apart.

It takes him several sleepless days, but when he reaches the train station where they decided to meet, Tyler and Will are there waiting for him, welcoming him back with unusually warm smiles and casual half-hugs.

They sit together on the hood of the cheap, rented car, looking out over the corn fields. Jay doesn't even know where they are, but he can't say that he cares all that much. Especially not when Tyler stretches out comfortably beside him and Will hands him a beer, and they bicker about baseball and which direction to head in next and what to have for dinner tomorrow.

The sun sets, the last rays bathing the rural scenery in golden hues. Even after the sun dips below the horizon, it stays warm, and Jay can't help but smile.

They're together again, and it feels right.

~fin~


End file.
